When you are searching for a therapist, the typical advice is to keep trying therapists until you find one that is “a good fit”. This raises the obvious question – how do you know if a therapist is a good fit or not?
In general, “a good fit” just means you like them and want to continue. If you’re not sure what to look for, this post will go over some signs of a good and bad fit.
If the therapist is a good fit during your first few sessions, you might:
- Feel that the therapist understands you
- Feel that the therapist understands your goals for therapy
- Believe that the therapist can help you achieve your therapy goals
As therapy progresses, if you have a good fit with your therapist you may start to notice:
- You wonder what it would be like to share more personal things with your therapist
- You share more personal things with your therapist
- You feel like therapy is progressing or benefiting you
- You start to do some things differently in your life
- You notice that your overall well-being is improving, or that your life is becoming more stable
After you have been in therapy a while, signs that your therapist is still a good fit for you might be:
- When you and your therapist have a misunderstanding or disagreement, you can discuss it and resolve it
- You know that your therapist has a good understanding of you and your needs
- You have made progress since you started
- Your therapist understands your current goals (which may be different to the goals you had at the beginning of therapy)
- Your therapist can continue to help you with your goals
If you have a good amount of these signs, your therapist is probably a good fit for you.
On the other hand, if your therapist is not a good fit, here are some signs you might notice:
- You feel they can’t help you
- You get annoyed or frustrated when talking to them
- They don’t understand you
- You feel judged by them
- You don’t trust them
- They try to pressure you to change your mind about things
- They talk about themselves more than they talk about you
- When you leave, you feel worse about yourself
- They break professional boundaries
If your therapist is unfortunately not a good fit, remember, you can always try another therapist. It can be hard to think about finding another therapist, but you deserve to have a good one. Bad therapy can be worse than no therapy at all.
